I’m sure you are all wondering what blue balls feels like. Not a day goes by where I don’t stop and think about it. I’ll be having lunch, going on a hike, in the middle of a deep, meaningful conversation with my friends, doing a science experiment (?), or involved in charity work, and I’ll think, “I hope not a single man on this Earth is suffering from the pain that is blue balls today.”In fact, maybe health care should the pain associated with blue balls, if it does not already. I’m sure it is part of the current administration’s health care plan, though. Out with covering birth control and pre-existing conditions! Let’s cover Viagra and blue balls instead!
Anyway, because there isn’t much science or literature out there specifically surrounding “blue balls,” it’s mostly treated as an urban legend and negotiation tactic widely used since The Garden of Eden. And now, lucky for you and me, a bunch of dudes took to a Reddit thread to talk about what having blue balls actually feels like. Because there’s nothing like a bunch of bros being bros, bro-ing out and talking about their balls hurting. I love the internet.
So here are said guys revealing what having blue balls really feels like. I hope they will all be OK! 🙁
This Guy Says Blue Balls Feels Like Intense Soreness
Intense soreness and tenderness on the most sensitive area of the body. So it’s not exactly pleasant.
This Gentleman Says It Feel Like You Have To Pee And Poop
Usually it feels like a pressure in your bladder area, which is from your prostate being swollen (slightly) due to sexual stimulus and from all of your sexual organ muscles tensing up in anticipation of release.
It kind of feels like a cross between REALLY having to pee, and REALLY having to poop. Your testicles can/usually become swollen and are extremely tender to the touch as well until 5-15 minutes after release.
It’s like you’re at the starting line of a race. You’re all hunkered down with your feet in the starting blocks, coiled up and ready to explode out of your pose…except you just sit there waiting.
He Says It Feels Like You Are Going To Explode
It’s legitimately painful, it feels like you are about to burst but can’t easily relieve yourself.
This Bro Finds It’s A Lot Like Getting Kicked In The Nuts
It feels just like getting kicked in the nuts, but the pain lasts longer.
Side note: Cool Reddit username, my dude.
He Says Blue Balls Makes Him Wanna Jerk Off
you just wanna jerk off on the entire world
Please don’t do that.
He Explains It’s Like Your Balls Are In A Death Grip
It’s like when your balls are being squeezed without actually being squeezed and that feeling flows out of just your balls and into your entire body. Usually it is also accompanied by a lump in your throat caused by your mind being so salty that you didn’t get to make sweet sweet love to her ’til the end for some ridiculous reason.
This Guy Reminds You Not To Use Blue Balls To Pressure People Into Sex
It’s like a constant throbbing pain in the balls that can vary by intensity, but it’s easily remedied by orgasm so masturbation can do the trick. It should never be used to try and coerce someone into a sexual act.
So remember, like this man said, if a guy is pressuring you into any sexual act because he has blue balls, then let him un-blue himself. A man’s balls are not your business unless you want them to be.
And if he wants to whine about it, direct him to this thread, thank you very much!
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