76th Annual Golden Globes Recap: I Would Die for Sandra Oh And You Should Too Betches

Welcome to award season, Betches. Last night, everyone who mattered in Hollywood over the past year (and Ryan Seacrest) gathered together for the 76th Annual Golden Globes. For the uninitiated, the Globes are basically prom for the TV and film industry. Think about it:  everyone is wasted but pretending they aren’t, the venue is too small, the night is an hour and a half longer than anyone wants it to be, people in attendance do a poor job of concealing …

Two Virgins, One Sloth: Diggy Moreland On ‘The Bachelor’ Premiere Betches

Well Bachelor Nation, the time has come. You cried, you shouted, you asked for a recount, you even pulled the fire alarm at the mansion in hopes that the season wouldn’t film, but to no avail. Colton’s season of The Bachelor has started. Yes, the same man who couldn’t commit to a summer fling in Paradise now will commit to finding his WIFE on national TV. I don’t know how this season is going to end, but stock up on …

New Moon, Same You: Weekend Horoscopes For January 4-6 Betches

In addition to the fact that you’re still glowing on that new year energy, a new moon will help you keep those resolutions in tact for another week. Unless you’re an Aquarius. Sorry Aquarius. Time to fire up the vision board, Aries, because you’re feeling ambitious af this weekend. If you haven’t already set out quarter-for-quarter goals for 2019, this weekend is the time to do it. Pour yourself a glass of wine, buy one of those fancy expensive planners, …

A Definitive Ranking Of Miley Cyrus Exes Betches

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth GOT MARRIEDlove is realcanme, personallyNow, if you’ll recall, on the set of , way back when Miley had brown hair and was still legally allowed to associate with the Disney Channel. Ah, simpler times. They first got engaged in 2012, before calling it off a year later so Miley could go through that wild phase. But they reconnected in 2015 and seemed to be really happy, despite the fact that it made her new music …

Vanderpump Rules Season 7 Episode 4 Recap Betches

So I guess Bravo really is sticking to this Sunday 9pm Vanderpump Rules time slot, huh? That’s gonna make it difficult for me because Sunday at 9pm is typically when I pass out due to my raging hangover. But fine. I guess we all have to make sacrifices for our art. Last week on VPR, Raquel got ambushed at girls’ night and everybody hates James. Did I miss anything? I don’t think so. This episode better be good, or I swear …

Hold Up, Is Lala Kent Friends With The Kardashians? Betches

2018 has been such a salacious sh*tshow that nothing shocks me anymore. Like, yesterday I found out that Bella Thorne is in a throuple with Mod Son and some YouTuber and I didn’t even flinch. The president regularly threatens World War III on Twitter and I don’t even feel anything. So it takes a lot to astonish me these days, and leave it to a Vanderpump Rules starlet and the Kardashians to shake me to my core. Look, I hate …

An Honest Recap Of ‘The Holiday’ Betches

The Princess Switch, The Holiday, But in any case, settle in, because I’m currently getting ghosted by a guy I already hooked up with, so I am FIRED UP and I am NOT HERE for your fake true love bullsh*t. I’ve been told I’m funnier when I’m angry, so you guys should be in for a treat. Jack Black kisses the hand of a woman who is far too hot for him, and waves goodbye to her as she bolts …

We Turned This Year’s Oscar Contenders Into Hallmark Movies Betches

December is here, which means two things: Every movie you’re watching is either Oscar bait or pure holiday trash. You have the Timothees and the Saiorses of the world dusting off their mantle for a trophy, and the Haylie Duffs of the world just dusting. Shockingly, there’s no award ceremony for being in your 25th TV movie—although I’d argue Haylie’s contributions to Hallmark movies warrant at least a Venice (Beach) Film Festival Award. Since I love to ruin things and …

First Looks At The New Roger Ailes Movie Starring Nicole Kidman

Every single thing in our lives has turned upside down in the past few years, and 2019 isn’t promising to be any different. Hell has frozen over and we are going to be tuning into Fox News. No, not to hate watch, but to actually learn something. The movie centering around the Roger Ailes scandal is in production and I never thought I’d say this but it’s making Fox News look glamorous. But a movie simply about Ailes isn’t what …

‘The Santa Clause’ Recap: This Is Darker Than I Remember Betches

The Santa ClauseThe Santa ClauseDie HardThe Princess SwitchWe start out at Scott Calvin’s office Christmas party, where they are celebrating the success of the Do-It-All-For-You Dolly. This party appears to be catered, so it’s already 1000% nicer that the “party” my office throws every year, where I can help myself to a Solo cup of kosher wine and watch rich people fight over who gets the airpods during the white elephant. This party lets us know right off the bat that …

The Definitive Ranking Of Netflix Christmas Movies Betches

Listen. I am a SLUT for Christmas. The lights. The music. The decor. The ever-present scent of evergreen. The built-in excuse to drink liquified chocolate without having to explain yourself. It all fills me with a pure, unadulterated joy that I can only describe as childlike. It’s also important to note that I am a lover of romantic comedies—the cheesier, the better. There’s nothing I love more than looking Cinema Dudes in the eye, and telling them that I sincerely …

Netflix This December: The Best Shows & Movies Betches

You made it through Thanksgiving, but there’s like, so much more holiday season to endure. That means more family, more spending money, more office parties, and more blizzards. What a joyous season. The only good part about December is that it means 2018 is slowly coming to an end. That’s a good thing at least. So to close out the year, here are some of our top movies and TV shows for you to watch on Netflix this December. Dec …

‘Jersey Shore Family Vacation Recap: Do You Have No Bra On? Betches

We left off last week (two weeks ago?) of the neverending season of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation with Vin and Ang having horrible sexual tension that annoys everyone around them and Ronnie in a hot tub with yet another trashy girl. Mike: Ronnie’s doing the same thing he got run over for. The gang stops spying and goes to sleep as Trashy Barbie and Ronnie retire to his ~*bedroom*~. Except they all share bedrooms soo? Maybe he’s in the smush room. Ronnie …

A Lena Dunham Show About Anna Delvey Is Happening Betches

This week, The Cut published a profile on Lena Dunham. The piece is being hailed as a refreshing look at female pain, and an illuminating profile on someone from whom we all assumed we’d heard more than enough. While the piece was indeed less insufferable than I feared it would be, one piece of information included was enough to ruin my day. Lena Dunham has a deal with HBO to create a series on fake German heiress (and real Russian scammer) Anna Delvey. You …

The Most Dramatic Celebrity Scandals Of 2018 Betches

Celebrity scandals are what I live for. Okay, that is a slight exaggeration. But I love the thrill of knowing a new piece of gossip that lowers the level of perfection my fav celebrities have and makes them seem more human. 2017 was a pretty good year for celebrity scandals, but the celebrity scandals of 2018 did not disappoint. From feuds with the President to cheating scandals, 2018 was a dramatic AF year. Personally, I’m just glad it’s almost over. Then …

Is Lisa Vanderpump Leaving Real Housewives? Betches

It just might be the end of an era. Rumors about Lisa Vanderpump leaving Real Housewives of Beverly Hills have been swirling for months, but now it seems like it’s actually happening. On Tuesday, sources told E! News that LVP is really done with the show, and that she’ll be leaving the cast after the upcoming ninth season. If you’ve been watching RHOBH until now, it’s no secret that Lisa has been kind of over it the last couple years, and she definitely doesn’t …