Which Mary-Kate And Ashley Movie Are You Based On Your Zodiac Sign? Betches

Once upon a time, before they started marrying old French guys and wearing outrageously expensive, ornate rugs, the Olsen twins owned Hollywood. From the late 90’s to the mid 00’s, you couldn’t blink without another Olsen twin movie being released. Considering my name is Mary Kate, this offered me a certain amount of (entirely unearned) clout at every slumber party I attended in my adolescence. The question I sought to answer today was not which Olsen movie is best, as doing so would result in a comment war that I, for one, am unprepared for. Instead we pursue the more important query: which one represents your zodiac sign? If you think about it, it was only a matter of time …

Women Who F*ck Sh*t Up: ‘Pretty Woman’s Samantha Barks Betches

For many people, the chance to lead a Broadway show is the dream of a lifetime. One of those people is Samantha Barks, who is currently living out that dream playing Vivian Ward in Broadway’s Pretty Woman: The Musical. The chance to step into the iconic role created by Julia Roberts is the opportunity of a lifetime, and for Barks, it was an opportunity that came after years of hard work and dedication. Samantha Barks is probably still best known for playing Éponine in the 2012 film adaptation of Les Misérables, earning numerous awards for her breakthrough performance. Years before that, she got her start when she was cast on a singing competition show in the UK at the age of 17. For …

‘Vanderpump Rules’ Season 7 Reunion Part 3 Recap: C U Next Season Betches

In case you couldn’t tell, I’m slightly drunk and ready to rip into these hypocrites. I can’t believe the season is over already. On the one hand, it feels kind of short. On the other hand, I have aged 85 years. My friends and family want me to stop talking about Vanderpump Rules. My doctor is concerned about the effect it appears to have on my cholesterol. I’ve been unable to hold down a relationship. Okay, none of that sh*t is true (except the relationship part), but I’m saying it for effect. And that’s why you guys are still here. I am Cady Heron and Vanderpump Rules is my Regina George. Lala comes in with perhaps the only reasonable statement: Guys, we’ve …

A Breakdown Of Kylie Jenner’s Most Random Magazine Covers

I’m presenting this case based on Kylie Jenner’s latest magazine cover for the Forbes’ self-made billionaire is officially covering a magazine that you can’t purchase at your local grocery store, based on the fact that it’s in another language, I’m pretty sure they don’t sell it in America. Sorry if you already went to your local newsstand. And this is not the first time Kylie Jenner has posed for a random magazine—in fact, she’s done it quite a few times. So let’s take a look at all the f*cking weird magazines that Kylie has covered, and I hope you’ll enjoy the walk down memory lane to each of Kylie’s former faces as much as I did. View this post on …

The Shortest Celebrity Marriages You Probably Forgot Even Happened Betches

Celebrities are like, so relatable, what with their vacations and skin care routines and day-to-day 9-5 jobs. They totally live in the real world, except when it comes to marriage. Honestly, can you think of any family or friends that have gotten hitched and within a month or less, have called it quits? How about three months? A year? Maybe you can think of like, a few, but hopefully it’s not everyone you know. Quickie marriages in Hollywood, however, are pretty standard, and they’re much more common than you’d think. For instance, who knew Eddie Murphy was on the list of shortest celebrity marriages? Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, of course, are included, but who could forget the 100 or …

4 Secrets Nobody Tells You About Applying To College Betches

In light of Loughlin-gate, colleges everywhere are being heavily scrutinized for how they admit students. Which, hi, they should be! I worked for a university’s admissions office for four years, and I was absolutely horrified by what these celebrities were able to get away with. *cue Grandpa voice* In my day, it didn’t f*cking work like that. Or maybe I just wasn’t aware of that part? In any case, if you don’t have rich parents willing to commit fraud, go to prison, and waste a quarter of a million dollars on you because you’re too stupid/lazy to do it the right way, let me help you out. I have some expertise in the area of applying to college that I …

Kourtney Kardashian’s Site POOSH Is A Wild Ride Betches

For weeks, Kourtney Kardashian has been teasing POOSH, her mysterious new lifestyle project. We explored some of the possibilities of what POOSH could be, but now we can finally stop wondering. POOSH officially launched today and…it’s basically just Kardashian-themed Goop. Well, I can’t say I’m surprised, but I was hoping for something a little more exciting than this. I’m actually a little salty, because I signed up for the email list to be notified about the launch, and then I never even got an email! I really need to be on top of the latest POOSH news, so I feel like Kourtney and her team have let me down. But whatever, I’m still addicted to this sh*t. In honor of …

What Each Character Of ‘Friends’ Would Earn In 2019 Betches

FriendsAnyway, as an English major, I was trained to genuinely believe that characters live past the end of the story, so I’m really hoping that 15 years after the last episode aired, the have all been promoted many, many times and can now afford their multi-bedroom apartments in one of New York’s most expensive neighborhoods. Friendsa set in L.A.Monica is my favorite. She’s loud, she’s pushy, and she’s clean af. Yep, she’s a Jewish mom, alright. In the last episode, she, Chandler and their twin babies moved upstate to Westchester County. If you’ve ever been there, you know that it is a beautiful place with absolutely nothing to do. Before she moved, Monica worked hard for her head chef position …

From Cardi B To Kylie, These Are The Dumbest Phrases Celebs Trademarked Betches

Over the last two years, Cardi B has truly transformed from a random person on Love & Hip-Hop to one of the biggest stars in the world. This week, it was announced that she’ll be making her film debut, but that’s not the only business move she has in the works. I have a feeling some new merch is coming in the near future, because Cardi B has officially trademarked “Okurr.” She’s making money moves. The official trademark designation is for “Clothing, namely, T-shirts, sweatshirts, hooded sweatshirts, pants, shorts, jackets, footwear, headgear, namely, hats and caps, blouses, bodysuits, dresses, jumpsuits, leggings, skirts, sweaters, undergarments,” so we can definitely expect Cardi B to drop an OKURR clothing line any day now. This …

What Your Zodiac Sign Reveals About How You Are In Bed Betches

We all love reading about our zodiac signs, even though horoscopes might not be the most scientifically accurate. The brand just revealed the results from their 2019 SKYN Condoms Sex & Intimacy Survey, which asked 2,000 Gen-Z adults (18-22) and millennials (23-38) in the US and Canada detailed information about everything from condom use and sexual education to favorite sexual positions and fantasies. Some of the results were kind of surprising—like how 65% of Gen-Z reports using a condom all or some of the time, while only 54% of millennials could say the same. Some were disappointing, like how Gen-Z fakes orgasms more often than millennials (10% of the time versus 6%, respectively). But in addition to breaking down their findings by …

5 Easy Positions To Switch Up Your Sex Life Betches

Good morning everybody, let’s get this bread your fav sex experimenter (sexperimenter?) is here once again. This time, I will help you spice up your love life in the bedroom. Just call me a user-friendly Kama Sutra with new (and non-intimidating) sex positions to try ASAP. Have you ever wanted to try a new position you saw in a movie (Hollywood film or porn, no judgment) but were wayyy too intimidated? Or do you feel like you do the same three positions again and again? Or are you alone and looking for a slightly erotic read? I got you, ladies. Here is a guide to trying new positions that will not be intimidating, because they’re just a twist on the tried-and-true positions …

Where To Buy The Iconic Wedding Dresses From Your Favorite Movies Betches

Whether you’re engaged, soon-to-be engaged (*cough* Colton, still not a thing), or single af, it’s always fun to fantasize about the wedding dress of your dreams. We all have our secret Pinterest boards ready for when it’s time to say yes to the dress. We’re always looking for sources from which to pull inspiration, so since we all also watch movies, where else better to look than some of our favorite films? There’s Allie’s vintage dress from The Notebook, Carrie Bradshaw’s impressive cloud of a gown, and tons more memorable wedding gowns you’re probably forgetting about. Here are 7 iconic wedding dresses as seen in your favorite movies and where to shop their dupes. Pronovias x Kleinfeld Sweetheart Strapless Lace Bodice Mermaid Wedding …

20 Ways To Celebrate Women That Could Actually Help Us Betches

In all seriousness, International Women’s Day is rad, but there is still so much work to be done. Well guess what, my good betch, you can get started on that work today! ‘Tis the day, after all. In case you need some guidance when it comes to figuring out how to help women, we’ve gone ahead and put together a comprehensive list for you. We really do have to do like, everything, don’t we? Anyway, try celebrating women by checking off some of the things on this list, or die a sexist monster. Your call! 1.Push For Equal Pay 2018It’s 2019 and rape culture has got to go! Stop perpetuating the idea that women are responsible for making sure they …

Leaving Neverland Is About More Than Michael Jackson Betches

In the past 48 hours, I watched the entirety of Leaving Neverland, director Dan Reed’s two-part, four-hour documentary about two men who claim to have suffered sexual abuse as children, and how they grapple with that trauma to this day. To say I have an emotional hangover would be an understatement—I am sad in ways I didn’t know I could be. While sob-emoji texting my friends, though, I noticed a pattern. When someone hadn’t heard of Leaving Neverland, I clarified: I was watching “the Michael Jackson documentary.” And it’s true—the man accused of sexual abuse in this doc is Michael Jackson, and “Neverland” in the title refers to Jackson’s 2,800-acre ranch, where he allegedly abused an unknown number of prepubescent boys …

10 Books You Have To Read Before The Movies Come Out Betches

I love both reading and going to the movies, and this year, there are no shortage of great books being adapted for the big screen. It’s always exciting to see your favorite fictional characters get reimagined for a movie, but usually the book version ends up being better. We’re only like, two months into the new year, and I already need a f*cking break from reality. If you’re like me, and too poor to catch a flight, what better way to escape to a new world than diving into a new can’t-put-down book? This year’s movie adaptations come from a wide range of genres to suit everyone’s liking, and star some of our favorite actors like Blake Lively, Nicole Kidman, …

People Are Already Pissed About The Michael Jackson Doc Leaving Neverland Betches

Last month, a new Michael Jackson documentary aired at Sundance, called Leaving Neverland. The documentary is specifically about the allegations of child sexual abuse against Michael Jackson, featuring detailed accounts from two of his accusers, Wade Robson and James Safechuck. The documentary will air in two parts on HBO: one two-hour segment is coming out Sunday, March 3, and the other Monday, March 4. Those who have seen the film describe it as “powerful and convincing,” a “bombshell,” and “more disturbing than you could imagine,” all of which makes me want to go to sleep right now and not wake up until I can watch it for myself. Somewhere in a Chicago jail cell, R. Kelly is reading these reviews and …